For those of us who choose married life, I wonder which moment stands out most in our personal favorite moments: the proposal or the actual ceremony. It would be fascinating to ask 100 random people which is the stronger memory in their lives. On the one hand, the lengths people (usually men but not necessarily!) go to in the simple act of suggesting marriage is unbelievable. Mountain tops, deserts at sundown, in a boat in the middle of a lake, anything you can dream up has probably been done at some stage or another.
Marry me and say yes and then we are engaged. It all sounds so simple. The moment of the proposal in itself must be intimate (just the two of you even in the middle of a crowd), and packed with all sorts of emotions and fears. There is no certainty and there is the enormity of the future as big as the sunset, as wide as the lake. So, I suspect the proposal may just win in the memory stakes. What comes after the moment of engagement is a whirlwind of planning and decisions and bringing lots of other people into the couple’s life. Complexities abound and can swallow up the original simple declaration of love, or at least
cover up the romance temporarily with a blanket of practicality. So, I vote for the moment of proposal as the bigger memory and it makes perfect sense to climb the mountain or go into the desert to isolate this moment from all the other excitements of getting married.
Should we celebrate our friends’ engagements? Absolutely! It is a great time to swirl around a friend with love and support. Engagement parties are happy and relaxed affairs usually, without the formalities of The Wedding Itself. And little gifts for the couple are a good way to create memories: nothing over the top, just little personal somethings to treasure the moment. One idea a friend came up with last year here in the pottery was of a “wishing jar,” where people could write little wishes and thoughts and insert them into a beautiful, beribboned jar for the couple to read later. We think this is still a wonderful idea and it was very popular during last year’s wedding season. So, if one of your friends is getting engaged,---be excited for them, give a little party, and send them home with one of
our beautiful pottery jars full of warm wishes, jokes, sayings, memories, and advice. We guarantee they and the jar will be appreciated!
Susan Mosse